Stressed out..

Okay, it's like 5am in the morning and I still can't sleep. I have a lot on my mind that have been bothering me for a really, really long time. I'm like so upset of the fact that people are like really incondiderate to me and very rude! Like, I'm a very shy and easy going and for people to just judge me like as if they've talk to me forever is really getting on my nerve. People just act like they know what your personality are just cause they hear someone who says something completely different just cause that person don't like you. Like I remember in school that would happen to me a lot but I just learn to brush it off and keep going to the next person until I would find someone who would actually accept me. Anyways, that was a long time ago now the only enemy that I'm dealing with is the enemy in my home ....do you know who? ........... My mom! Yes her, and if your saying to yourself why would your mom say stuff mean about you she's your mom. Well that the samething I ask myself... so don't judge me! Not everyone is going to have a nice mom ok? So if you didn't know that now, well.. now you know. My mom was never nice to me growing up she's always divided the attention between me and my lil bratty sister. She always seemed to give her the MOST attention while the only thing I got was a beat to my butt and locked up in my room most of the time b/c I was too scared to really be out there with them cause I knew she would find a way to yell at me. I never knew why she loved her more than me and to be honest now I don't give a flying rats ass. She can have her bony ass attention for all I care. I never go any attention that I needed when I was a kid so I don't care to get any from her now. She just proved to me what a bitch of a mother she is. I would go up to her and ''try'' and hug her but all she would do is push me away and say ''eww don't touch me'' are you for real? You actually would say that to your OWN DAUGHTER. I thought that was messed up so after that ordeal of trying to win her love I fianlly gave up when I was about 16, 17. It was finally to the point where it was like ''you know you don't deserve my atteniton your not even worth it''. Now I'm 22 and can't wait to move out I'm almost to a place cause living here with my mom is getting so old now. I'm tired of dealing with the same shit over and over again. All she does is like to create drama with me cause cause she so unhappy with herself. I could careless if she got ran over with a bus or if anything else happened to her or my sister that's traggic. Cause to me they both deserve it for making my life hell growing up. I wish I could move out now and into my place but too bad I don't have enough cause if I did I would so move out like right now lol. I want to get away from as far as possible like to another time zone. I'm thinking about the west coast but so sure yet. Well it 6am now so I guess I go to bed my stomach still hurts though from being so stress out in trying to find a place and stress out living here that it making my stomach hurt real bad to where I can't sleep some nights. Well  goodnite.

                                                     


                                                             
                                                                xoxo Day-nah